


Five Movies That Miranda Priestly Would Never Admit to Watching

by stuckinastory



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: 2008, F/F, LJ to AO3, Oldfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckinastory/pseuds/stuckinastory
Summary: What it says on the tin.I just gotta say, the dvlwears_prada community on LJ really loved its Friday Five fics.
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Comments: 4
Kudos: 128





	Five Movies That Miranda Priestly Would Never Admit to Watching

  1. Out of Africa (1985)



Miranda Priestly is 30 years old, and she had just risen to the ranks as the youngest editor-in-chief of _Runway_ , the world’s biggest fashion magazine. She loves her job and her job absolutely adores her back. She has a steady boyfriend, Edward, who works as a banker for Standard Chartered. They have been going out for a while, and all of Miranda’s longtime friends have been urging her to consider marrying him. He’s English, dark-haired, handsome, intelligent, and charming, and according to them, men of that caliber are becoming extinct, so they should get married as soon as possible, or else she might lose him. Miranda laughs at the very idea. Of course she won’t lose him. Edward is faithful, and both their careers are on the rise, so they can’t hit the button and get married yet. Maybe in a few years. Miranda thinks his fashion sense is a little off, what with all those ratty shirts and old jogging pants that he wears. But he loves her, and she loves him, so she doesn’t pay that much attention to what he wears.

One night, he takes her out to the movies. They love watching movies, and it has been some ritual between them. Every other Saturday they would go out and watch the movie of the week. Miranda first found the ritual annoying, but soon enjoyed it when she found out that she would be watching movies in some posh, upscale theater, and not like those dirty, uncomfortable theaters that she had to go to back at home. Edward chooses what they watch, but he’s always had good taste, so she lets him pick most of the time. This time, he picks a movie with a blonde-haired leading man and a dark-haired leading lady with a wonky nose and with a story that’s supposed to be based on some writer’s life. Miranda never told him about her little crush on Robert Redford, and so she enjoys this rare chance to see her favorite actor onscreen.

“Miranda,” Edward whispers, as the blonde-haired man shampoos the leading lady’s hair. It’s so sexy and romantic that Miranda’s eyes are fixated on the screen. “Isn’t she amazing?”

Miranda looks away from the screen with some effort and looks at him. “Who?”

“Meryl Streep.” Edward says, his eyes back to the screen. “She’s fantastic.”

Miranda doesn’t know how to answer that. “Excuse me?”

Edward doesn’t get what Miranda wants to say, either. So he turns to her and looks at her seriously, like she didn’t get his point. “Isn’t she great? She knows a lot of accents, she’s a great actress, and she won an Oscar a few years back. She’s immensely talented. I watched Sophie’s Choice a few years before. I mean, wow. This Karen Blixen and Sophie are two different people, I can tell you that. She should win another Oscar for this movie, don’t you think?”

Miranda pretends not to hear him and looks back at Robert Redford, her handsome, enigmatic, fashion-savvy onscreen crush. She only nods at Edward’s assessment.

The movie ends a few hours later, but on the drive back to Miranda’s apartment, Edward doesn’t let go of the earlier discussion. They sit on the sofa and wait for the coffeemaker to produce its magical juice. The Book is lying in wait on one of the tables and Miranda is already annoyed with how Edward can’t seem to let go of the discussion, like he’s looking for an argument. She’s not disagreeing with him and she doesn’t think negatively of Meryl Streep, but after an hour and a half of being consigned to useless trivia and his self-centered tales of other movies and other girlfriends, she wants to send him home. And break up with him.

“Edward,” Miranda finally says, exasperated, “What is your obsession with this?”

“Obsession?” Edward asks back, oblivious to Miranda’s annoyance. “What do you mean, ‘obsession’? Are you asking me if I’m obsessed with Meryl Streep?”

“Well that’s a foregone conclusion, isn’t it?” Miranda asks back. She knows better than to raise her voice. She sips her coffee and lays the cup down, ever so gently, waiting.

Edward still doesn’t get it. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Miranda purses her lips. Who has she been talking to for the last few hours, anyway? What happened to the well-bred Englishman that she once met? Who abducted her boyfriend and replaced him with this self-centered, rude little creature who’s occupying her couch?

Miranda walks to the door and opens it. “It’s late, Edward.”

Edward takes the cue and walks over to the door. “I knew it. You’re jealous.”

“First of all, I hope you have a good night,” Miranda replies, already certain that there wouldn’t be a movie night with him anytime soon. Edward is out her door, smirking. Smirking and clueless. And so not her boyfriend anymore. “Second of all, don’t flatter yourself.”

She slams the door on his face and goes back to her couch with a satisfied smile on her face. Twenty-four hours later, she’s single and she’s watching _Out of Africa_ with Nigel, her art director. They both like Robert Redford, and that’s when she knows that she has a friend for life. She sips her Coke in the dark, smiling at Robert Redford’s indisputably handsome face.

  1. Ghost (1990)



Miranda listens patiently, and with great excitement, to the voice on the other line. Outside her office, there is a small group of people and two racks of clothes waiting to be entertained, but she gives her senior assistant the vibe that they can all go to hell for all she cares, and so they wait outside. They are too scared to say anything. Only as it should be.

“C’mon, Miranda, they said it was good.” Her husband says over the phone. “You have to watch it with me. Besides, it’s a great opportunity for us to spend some time together.”

His warm, gregarious voice wins her over instantly and she agrees to watch a movie with him after work. They’ve only been married for a few months, but it feels like blissful years to her. At least she hopes it would all be blissful years for her. Unlike her other boyfriends, Richard Haverford isn’t self-centered, no sir. Not even an ounce of his blood is self-centered, and that’s just how she likes him. He gives her his full attention, and she adores and loves him for it. When he looks at her, she feels like he isn’t looking at anybody else, and she loves that feeling. It makes her feel more certain that they would spend the rest of their lives together.

Oh, and he’s a huge fan of surprises. Miranda normally hates surprises, but Richard has made her reconsider. On their first date, she’s taken to the top of the Empire State Building for a dinner, rose petals on the floor and a string quartet playing music in the background. On their first anniversary, he popped up with a bouquet of flowers on location, as a jet wrote “Happy Anniversary! I love you, Miranda. Always, Richard” on the clear night sky. And when he proposed to her, he took her to the top of the Eiffel Tower, on the last night of Paris Fashion Week, and dropped to his knee while fireworks were exploding in the background.

Her magazine’s sales might skyrocket, she might get all the top models for her cover, she might be on budget for the next two issues, she might have Irv Ravitz eating out of the palm of her hand, and she might be the best in the business, but nothing compares to being with her man.

The movie, if not undeniably sweet, was also a little humorous. She never thought that she’d actually enjoy it, judging from the somehow tacky poster, but she did. Now she knows why, for three whole days while she was in Milan, Richard has been calling and asking her if she would be interested in taking pottery classes with him. Talk about romantically derivative.

What was better than the movie was the fact that Richard paid for a special screening for the two of them and gave her a whole bouquet of red roses. That was more original, and definitely sweeter in her book. It was the best coming-home present that she’s ever had. She thanks him, over and over, for the gesture. He smiles and tells her it’s what she deserves.

As she calls Nigel to confirm the clothes to be used for the next month’s shoot, Richard spots a younger woman, dark-haired and exotic, who winks at him and gives him a sweet smile.

Richard smiles slightly and winks back.

  1. The Parent Trap (1996)



Soon, Miranda is sick of it. Richard has winked and smiled at too many women, and has had the gall to make a fool of her and actually have an affair with one. How dare he treat her like garbage? It goes on for too long and stops when Miranda throws him out of the house and yells at him to never even think about coming back. The next day, she calls one of her friends and asks for the number of the best lawyer in the country. Miranda meets with her lawyer as soon as possible, and discusses strategies with her lawyer as the press prey on her private life. At the hugely publicized trial, Miranda and her lawyer easily eat him alive and make him pay for the rest of his life, and make her have custody of her adorable five year old twin daughters.

Today, Miranda sits with them on a couch, with a projector in front of them, and a movie playing in their living room. It’s a literal home movie, requested by the girls, and they have popcorn and soda in front of them as Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson have their former romance rekindled by twins who have the same hair color as her daughters.

Art imitates life.

“Mommy,” Cassidy says, looking up at her. “Can we get a puppy?”

Miranda looks at her furniture and at her vases from the popcorn stand she’s rented, and already, her mind says ‘no’. But Caroline looks up at Miranda too, and they make those cute little puppy eyes that Miranda has never learned, and—she fears—she will never learn how to resist. As if to demonstrate just how irresistible the looks are, the girls say “Please” in chorus in that sing-songy voice of theirs. Miranda tells herself that she won’t break.

She won’t break.

She tries to focus on the family in the movie, tries to ignore her daughters, but the “Please” gets louder, even more sing-songy, and when she chances a look at her daughters, they have those angelic little smiles on their lips. She sighs softly, and the girls smile even wider.

The next weekend, Miranda is at Central Park, watching her daughters pet Patricia.

  1. Notting Hill (1999)



Stephen Rowling is a politician. Specifically, he’s a lawyer turned politician, and Miranda has no patience for politicians, even if their views actually coincide with hers. Tonight, Nigel has decided to play the devil’s advocate and introduce them both to each other at one of the grander events in her social calendar. As Nigel takes off, she gives him a glare, and he smiles slightly, teasing her and sending her to this circle of Inferno. She eyes Stephen suspiciously. Stephen Rowling is plain looking, not even charming, and the Hugo Boss suit on him feels forced. The suit feels like a costume on him. Miranda thinks that this is the kind of man who wears his old college shirt and his boxers and drinks bottles of beer. Ugh. Beer, not even wine.

But then, he talks. He’s smart and sharp, and it turns out that they have a lot in common, other than the fact that they both voted for Bill Clinton. He has a way with words, and Miranda has always liked that trait. Suave, so to speak. She listens to him talk about his world and hers, and listens to him discuss the merits of the fashion industry. They talk for hours and hours. They exchange office numbers and witty banter. A month after she met him, they go out.

Stephen is 750th man in succession in Miranda’s life who takes her out to a movie on a date. If not for his witty commentary, she wouldn’t have lasted a second in that theater. It wasn’t her fault, anyway. Stephen didn’t tell her what movie they would watch. Therefore, he didn’t know that she didn’t care for Hugh Grant, that she didn’t care if he was a matinee idol that she was supposed to like, and that she outgrew romantic comedies a few years back.

There are many other things that Stephen doesn’t tell her, and once again, a marriage is over too soon, and her life is preyed upon by the press once more. This is when Miranda decides that she will only watch movies with her daughters, because movies and men are a potent combination that she’s had enough of, and she’s really sick of how her romantic life has revolved around a cycle of movies, men, and seemingly inevitable heartbreak.

  1. Enchanted (2007)



Andrea Sachs is a sprightly, hopelessly optimistic twenty-five year old, with chestnut brown hair, shining, black eyes, and full, red lips that absolutely reminds Miranda of Snow White, and of a company phone thrown into a fountain during Paris Fashion Week. Miranda has just finished writing her last Post-It note for the Book and has just stuck it onto the page when the doorbell rings. At first, she thinks it’s one of those teenage boys from Dalton whom she once saw wave at one of her daughters, but then she opens the door, and there she is—her delinquent former junior assistant. Andrea says hi, asks if she can come in, and Miranda is puzzled when she says yes, as though she had been waiting for Andrea to stop by all along.

Miranda Priestly, according to one Andrea Sachs, is a silver-haired monster who likes to torture people for sport, fire people for no adequate reason, and treat friends, however few they may be, like garbage. Furthermore, according to the young reporter, she likes her Starbucks hot because she’s an insane old dragon who breathes fire and uses Starbucks as her fuel.

But before Miranda prepares to toss her old assistant out her door, Andrea Sachs puts a huge ‘but’ to her seemingly endless rant. She declares that despite all these facts, she can’t sleep after leaving Paris, she can’t grab coffee from Starbucks without thinking of Miranda, and although it pisses her off, she just can’t get Miranda out of her head because she’s head over heels in love with the same woman who had bitten her head off because of her sweater.

Then she kisses Miranda. Miranda kisses back.

Andrea does so much for her than anybody else does, probably because she already knows what Miranda’s like. More importantly, Andrea stays with her. Anticipates all her wants and needs. Loves her. Keeps up with her like nobody else can. And for all of these reasons, Miranda loves Andrea back and vows that this would be the one person she won’t let go of.

Andrea moves in with her and her twin daughters, who dote on Andrea like they dote on their puppy. Andrea loves spending time with them, and they’ve recently relived the movie nights that Miranda buried a few years back. Unknown to Miranda, Andrea has been taking her daughters to the theaters during Saturdays, bringing them to watch the movie of the week.

Miranda has no idea until a DVD gets overused.

At first, she thinks that maybe it’s because she has heard the songs before, or maybe it was played on TV or something to that effect, but then it becomes obvious. When Andrea makes Saturday movie night at home, Andrea and the girls play the same DVD every week. During the first three times, she watches along with them, hoping for a little entertainment. But soon, she gets tired of the cheery little voice coming from her living room, singing songs about being happy while working, and after the DVD player conks out, she orders her assistant to buy a new one and tells Andrea to stop watching the same movie over and over again.

Today, Andrea is watching the same movie with her daughters, who by now know all the lyrics and the exact moment when the songs will play.

“Hey,” Andrea calls out from the living room. The girls run to hug their mother before going back to the couch next to Andrea. She sits down next to Andrea and gives her a quick kiss.

“When is that movie going to end?” Miranda asks, shaking her head at the screen.

“Sssh, Mom, it’s almost the end,” Caroline says. Cassidy nods enthusiastically.

“Patrick Dempsey’s really cute.” Caroline swoons.

Miranda remembers a certain someone she used to swoon over years before.

“James Marsden’s cuter.” Cassidy disagrees. Andy eats some popcorn as all four of them watch Susan Sarandon turn into a bonafide Disney dragon. Andy also places her arm around Miranda, and they all watch the end. Miranda hears a collective “Yay!” and a collective sigh when the leading man and the leading lady have their happy ending. When the movie ends, Miranda breathes a sigh of relief and goes up to the bedroom. Andy follows her with her eyes.

“What’s wrong with Mom?” Caroline asks, genuinely confused. “Work?”

“Maybe.” Cassidy concurs, as she gets her can of Pepsi. “She must have fired someone today. She’ll be fine. Wait. Back to the movie. I have a question. If James Marsden married Idina Menzel, then wouldn’t she be the new Disney princess and not Giselle?”

“It’s Prince Edward and Nancy, and yeah, she’d be the new Disney Princess.”

“I’ll go up,” Andy says. “And you two better not try to sneak up on me.”

“Yeah, we won’t.” Cassidy says, laughing slightly.

“In your dreams.” Caroline adds, laughing too. “Andy?”

“Yeah?” Andy calls from the stairs.

“It’s going to be fine.” Cassidy says. “Mom has those days sometimes.”

“I know.” Andy replies, almost with a tinge of resignation.

“Just talk if she does. If she doesn’t, don’t.” Caroline adds.

“Thanks for the advice.” Andy says. She goes up the flight of stairs and knocks on the door to the bedroom. Miranda lets her in wordlessly.

True enough, it looks like Miranda’s having a dark day.

“Hey,” Andy says, pulling Miranda into a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Miranda says. Andy raises an eyebrow in question. But Miranda doesn’t say anything else, so suddenly it feels like there’s an elephant in the room.

“How does she know you love her--” Andy begins to sing softly. Miranda’s always loved her voice, and there’s that smile tugging at her lips when Andy holds her from behind, their roles reversed, and hugs her tightly. She enjoys the feel of Andrea’s arms wrapped around her.

Andrea doesn’t continue. She just hums.

That’s when Miranda realizes that she should go back to watching movies, and back to trying to create a great romance, because all those gestures and declarations of love aren’t for nothing. Andrea tries so hard to make her happy. She knows that she won’t talk to Andrea about what’s bothering her, and Andrea won’t push her to say anything that she doesn’t want to, anyway, but the fact that there is a ready shoulder that she can rely on is just proof of how much Andrea loves her. This realization hits home, and Miranda feels a few tears stream down her face. Andrea stops humming, faces her, and wipes her tears with her thumb.

“Whatever it is, it’s going to be fine.” Andrea says, still hugging her.

“I love you,” Miranda declares. “I love you very much.”

“I know,” Andrea answers, smiling at her. “I love you too.”

And they stay like that for a while, affirming their love for one another, as the sun sets in New York City and as Miranda Priestly’s most enduring romance unfolds.


End file.
